Sounds like Kirsten. . . but better

The Kirsten Doll
Sure, Samantha had cooler furniture, Felicity was a ginger, and Molly had hipster glasses, but the Kirsten doll was a Heidi-braid wearing Swede whose original accessories include both a wooden spoon and a spoon bag! Kirsten surpassed the Swedish stereotype of lovers of red candy fish and long legs to show the rough frontier world that she was brave and steadfast by being sensitive to animals despite a fear of small spaces. Okay, I have no idea what Kirsten did since I never got into the American Girl Conglomerate dolls, but her blonde hair looks more natural than Kiki’s.

Kristen Bell
Star of a show whose theme song is by The Dandy Warhols? The bitch Sarah Marshall? Capable of controlling energy in that show about Heroes, I forget what it’s called, that was pretty good at one point? The voice of Gossip Girl? If that’s not enough, a quick search in IMDB.com reveals that she was in Pootie Tang, recipient of a “Special thanks” from America’s Next Top Model, and will be starring in Ken Kwapis’s (remember him from Dunston Checks In???) new hilarious movie entitled “Everybody Loves Whales!”

Thurston Moore
Have you ever seen this guy? He’s 6’6.” Have you ever seen Kirsten Dunst? She is 5’6.” That’s a full foot-long sub of height difference between the two. He was also in that band, uh, Sonic Youth.

Thurston vs. Kiki on what they want to do in the future:

Thurston Moore: “I really want to do a book on the history of the no-wave music scene in New York, how it extended out and formed lots of other things. It was such a great visual culture.”

Kirsten Dunst: “I'd like to grow up and be beautiful. I know it doesn't matter, but it doesn't hurt."

Fred Durst
While Limp Bizkit might not be on my current playlist, here are some simple facts to ponder:

1. Fred Durst is a hidden playable character in 3 separate video games.


2. Fred Durst has a sex tape


3. Fred Durst was in Zoolander


4. Fred Durst dated Britney Spears before she shaved her head


5. Fred Durst was quoted as saying "I don't think you should mellow out. This is 1999, motherfuckers - stick those Birkenstocks up your ass!" during Woodstock 99